whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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