Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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