we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
