No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
