At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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