i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
