Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
