I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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