woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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