I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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