oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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