Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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