Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
