..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
