but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
