and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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