Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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