I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
