Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I need to align my fucking chakras
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
