ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
