that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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