just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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