so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
