he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
