I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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