dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
