it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
