My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
