Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
