Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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