She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
