So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
