meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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