we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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