i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
