This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize
