im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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