Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
