I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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