So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
