I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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