Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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