so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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