I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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