Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize