Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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