I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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