You really coming over, don't trick.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
