I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
