So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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