I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
