Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
