your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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