Someone shit on the floor
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
