Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
