he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
