these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
