Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
