Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize