3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Someone shit on the floor
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
