I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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