When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
