You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She's the barista slut.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
