I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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