Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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